i_am_the_most_abnormal: (worried)
[personal profile] i_am_the_most_abnormal
[[OOC cont: This also takes place a little before she found out Egon Spengler started following her Twitter account! To those who may be curious; both RP scenes and in-character tweets happen on her Twitter.]]

Subject: Can't seem to find the off switch in my brain tonight.

I tried going to sleep, I really did! Just when I'm getting used to sleeping more normally, it's going backwards...

At least it has nothing to do about bad dreams. I doubt they've left me entirely, but hey. They're not nearly as consistent as they used to be. Everyone who's survived in the war Current Xargin had started knew about how I wouldn't sleep at all on some nights. I'd either go alone or someone else to blow off steam in taking out the drones that attempted to invade town, infecting people.

It will still be a while until every one of our inward scars, our still-fresh memories of the previous war, fade.

Maybe I just need to sort my thinking and feelings out. (Besides, it's been a while since I last updated this blog.) Maybe I'll just make myself tired through updating this, and checking up on Twitter.

I don't want to wake up Genesis, 'cause I believe I wore him out these past two days. I've been stressed, angry, and scared over being so violently ganged up on. And as he worries about me, telling me he will avenge me and make that monster pay, I've had to keep making sure he wasn't going to be reckless. We both haven't forgotten the time Vertigo had nearly killed him when fighting one on one. I love him so much, and there's no way in hell I'm going to let that happen again.

Fuck. Vertigo might start plotting to go after him to get to me. She will do anything to get what she wants. Because she is a selfish, nasty, scary scaly bitch. In fact, have no doubts about attack and/or start to mess with all my family. Probably because of her sorceress spy Hannah, both her and Vertigo must know how I would be about losing them.

I shouldn't be thinking about them too much. I don't want to provoke them, or allow myself to get worked up.

I'm not really in the mood to rant anyway.

I don't want to be a bother and wake up Joseph. He's had a long day, helping people and multi-tasking--like a boss. He's been so selfless to many people. Amanda, Dr. Xargin, and Joseph have both worked together to make sure there were enough medical supplies during the previous attacks against Vertigo's warrior minions.

That's awesome. I'm proud of them. They've been very active and working hard to do their part in defending everybody--so they deserve all the rest that's available to them right now!

Of course, I don't want to worry the youngest in the house. Even though he's grown up so fast than most would ever have to do, I don't want to worry him further. D: He needs his sleep.

Everyone here will need their sleep. As the town is shielded from all our enemies, there's still much to plan and think about.

The training of my mind that I'll have to do more and more of, it should help me on what to do so Vertigo and all her nasty allies won't ever show up around here again. I've been always willing to do what's necessary to defend Nexus and the rest of us, but will it be enough? Will it even be more than enough?

Nexus is telling me that it will, and we both know I won't be alone in this, but I'm still worrying. A lot. It's sometimes so freaking stressful and difficult, being the keeper of Nexus's Core. I want my family safe. I don't WANT another war. But Vertigo does. She's got her army together, with the Joker, General Scales, that terrible dragon-man Zora...

I hate war. I really do. Just as one is over, another starts.

In addition to all this, I can'r about Declan, and Kyle. (Seriously, the timing of this, Nexus. It just couldn't have gotten crazier.) They're in the middle of this, and they're so young. And they've got their own problems.

Unless I learn how to do nearly as much as Nexus herself can do, there will be war, after war, after war. And some of us will always be targeted.

I probably just need to focus on something else for a while. I'm still not sleepy yet. In fact, I'm finally about to end this entry pretty soon.

I still have no idea how I can communicate to others out there in their worlds through Twitter of all things. I'm just able to, and it's interesting.

I have three new followers, including a friendly skeleton named Sans, which honestly hasn't been the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me. There's also Egon Spengler, from the Ghostbusters! Wow... I haven't seen either of those movies in so long. Yeah, I'm going to tweet out a hello to him right now.
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Mari Broderick

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